Stickin' It To Me: My Outrage at the Obama Campaign

It started, I think, long before the speech Obama gave last Tuesday, and it has been quietly growing among supporters like me who--with each passing day--feel a sense of increasing frustration and helplessness.    

I am addressing today a sense of outrage at the Obama campaign.  

I think it is a feeling felt by many Obama supporters.  

Probably thousands.

Why?

Follow me over the fold.  If you dare.

I am a supporter of Barack Obama, as I think I have established in my diaries.  I campaigned for him in Youngstown, and had decided to campaign for him in Pennsylvania.  

But I am growing increasingly angered over a situation with the Obama campaign that is literally making me ball up my fists of rage and grunt in anger.

For me it started in December.

(Scene:  Parking Garage, 8:45 a.m. Tuesday)

Me:  Morning, Tom, how are you?
Tom: (beeping his car locked)  Good.  Traffic was a mess today.
Me:  I know.  You come in from Maryland, too, right?
Tom:  Yeah.  I live in Columbia.  
Me:  (long pause)  Hey, Tom, do you mind if I, uh, ask you a question?  I see you are an Obama supporter.
Tom:  (pause)  Um.  Sure.  
Me:  (Stops walking)  Where'd you get that bumper sticker?
Tom:  (pause)  My wife got it online.  Why?
Me:  I can't seem to order them online anymore.  Back order.
Tom:  (smirks nervously)  Yeah.  Yeah, I heard that.

And again, in January.

(Scene:  Gas station in Virginia Beach)

Me:  (noticing sticker on Gray Honda at next pump).  Hey there.
Woman:  (looking up)  Hi.
Me:  (motioning to bumper sticker)  Obama, huh?
Woman:  (looks back at bumper)  Oh, yeah.  (laughs)  Yeah, I'm I guess what you would call an Obama girl.
Me:  Like the video!
Woman:  (laughs)  Yeah.  
Me:  I love that video!
Woman:  Yeah, it's funny.
Me:  (pause)  Hey, where did you get that sticker, anyway?
Woman:  Sorry?  (looks at sticker, furrows brow, looks back at me)  Um, gosh.  I don't really remember.  I think I either picked it up somewhere or something.
Me:  You didn't order it online?  Like, from his website?
Woman:  Uh, no.  I think I picked it up at some event or something, last fall.  I don't really remember.
Me:  Like, what kind of event?  Was it a state fair or something?
Woman:  (squints at me)  Um.  You know, I don't really remember.  
Me:  Was it, like, a big public event?  Like a chili cookoff or something?  Or was it a private event, like a house party or Southern Living thing?
Her:  (laughs nervously)  Wow, you really like that sticker, don't you.  Um, I'm sorry, I just don't remember.  It was a long time ago.  Sorry.
Me:  You sure you don't remember?  Because maybe there was drinking involved, or maybe you were just so excited, like, "Alright!  I just got an Obama sticker" and you had, like, a sort of mini-stroke from all the excitement.  'Cause I know I'd be really excited if I got an Obama sticker.  Because I've been looking for them everywhere.  Or--
Woman: (hurriedly moving to get into car)  Look, I don't remember, okay?  I have to go.

And from there it only got worse.

(Scene: Child's birthday party, leafy suburbs of Maryland)
Steve:  ...that's right, honey, swing the stick hard, but only hit the pinata!  Watch out for Stacey over there!  Ha.  (Looks at me)  Lemme tell you something.  Kids are a goddamned blessing.  Beer?
Me:  Sure.  
Steve:  You got it, Tiger.  (walks to cooler)
Me:  Hey, Steve, I've been meaning to ask you something.
Steve:  Hope it ain't about my wife, because she's taken!  Ha ha, just kidding, ask away.  Even about my wife, because, yes, she did have them done for Christmas.  
Me:  Yeah, everyone knows.  No, uh, I was walking up the driveway and couldn't help but notice your bumper sticker.  Where do you think I can get an Obama sticker, because the website's all out.  
Steve:  (looks confused)  Uh, I don't know.  That's a Giuliani sticker on the Tahoe.  
Me:  Yeah, I know,  But if you were to get an Obama sticker, where might you get one?
Steve:  What're you, a hippy?  How the hell should I know?    (looks over at kids playing)  Aw, now, goddammit, honey, I told you not to swing at any kids.  Now run get your momma to get some gauze and a doctor, and see if Stacey's conscious over there....  

 

And it didn't stop with bumper stickers.
 

(Scene:  Movie Theater, 7:53 p.m., Juno)
Me:  (leaning forward)  Excuse me.
Man in Hat:  (startled; turns)  What?
Me:  (whispering) Hey, uh, sorry, man, to bother you.  But can I ask you a question?
Man:  I'm trying to watch the movie here!
Me:  (whispering) Where'd you get that hat?
Man:  What the f*ck you talking about, man?  
Me:  (whispering) That Obama hat.  It's cool, where'd you get it?  I can't find any online and I--
Man:  (loudly) Dude, what the F*CK are you talking about?  
Woman in back row:  Keep it quiet down there!
Me: (whispering)  I want to get an Obama hat like that.  But I can't find any anywhere.  I like that hat.
Man:  (looks at girlfriend, then at me)  Motherf*cker, if you don't shut your mouth in about three seconds, here comes Mr. Punch to shut it for you.
Me:  (whispering)  Tell you what.  Just give me the hat.
Man:  The F*CK?
Old Woman:  SHHHHH!
Me:  (whispering)  Lemme just have the hat.  You can have my Sno-Caps.
Man: (standing)  THAT'S IT.
Me:  (scrambling for escape, spilling popcorn)  I JUST WANTED THE HAAAAAT!

 

I know for a fact I am not the only one facing this dilemma.  I have talked to others who express the same sense of frustration that they cannot get any Barack Obama official merchandise.  We go to the website and are greeted by the cruel announcement that anything we want to purchase--whether a simple bumper sticker or hat or even yard sign--is on "back order."

Do you know what this does for our self-esteem?  I met people on the campaign with hats, and T-shirts, and all kinds of buttons and pens.  

It's a mark of shame, I tell you!  

"You don't have an Obama t-shirt?"  I imagine people asking.  "Just when did you decide to support him, huh?  You Johnny Come Lately," people don't say.  They don't need to say it.  You can tell the people who were for Obama since Iowa or before.  The razzle dazzle of their flair and the well-worn look of their approved Obamawear silently mocks me with scorn and derision.

I don't want to be left out in the cold, affixing a bumper sticker in late May or June when the primaries are over!  "You were for Hillary, weren't you," they will ask.  

I will be looked at like one of those people who started talking about how "cool" The Wire was after seeing it for the first time in Season Four, or someone who started getting into Feist only after she was in that i-Pod commercial.  

I don't need that!  I have been well ahead of the curve on this whole Obama candidacy, and I want my bumper sticker to be sun-faded come August!  I want the bill of my Obama hat to have just the right amount of curve, and my Obama t-shirt to have a couple of chicken wing stains that are the telltale sign of a beloved and aged favorite!

But am I able to look to the Obama campaign for help?  Is my sense of hope met there?  Hell no.  

They are on back order on everything, and yes, that includes the LGBT Jewish Wyoming Republicans for Obama yard signs!  I'd buy one!  No matter what that would mean for future neighborhood potlucks!

But the one-man shop that is apparently churning out this stuff seemingly by hand, one goddamned bumper sticker at a time, can't get up to the demand.  

As sad as it is to say, it's true.  Obama's almost flawless campaign can't help me meet my own dreams.  The dreams of a faded bumper sticker, or natty Obama t-shirt.  

Sure, I could go and get cheaply made amateur stuff at Cafepress ("I HART OMABA!"), and yes, I am wellaware that the Hillary! sticker inventories fill dusty warehouses all over this land and are practically being given away to any takers by the crateful.  

But I want the real stuff.  And nowhere has it.  eBay?  Out of everything.  Craigslist?  Untenable, as most Obama merchandise offers are accompanied by a mandatory requirement for quid pro quo toe-sucking by the anonymous seller.  

I am out of options and ideas, here, Kossacks.

I don't want to have to wait to get all the Inauguration day leftovers.  

Help me.  In this regard, you are my only hope.